To misquote a famous American; "Porn is like a box of chocolates...you just never know what you're gonna get."

In this latest confection offered up by Brad Armstrong and Wicked, I thought I picked out a nice chocolate butter with walnuts....instead I got a raspberry cream, with dark chocolate no less.

After reading some promo blurbs and seeing the box cover loaded with all them promising excerpts, I thought I rented a sure fire favorite...I was sorely disappointed.

If I ran a porn studio, I would instill RULE #1, on a list of 1, that the girls gotta be at least as hot and/or cute and/or attractive as might be in any other 'real' movie one might wanna rent on a saturday night. After all, hot chicks doing just about anything, is better to look at then Rosie, Whoopi and Oprah cum-swapping...at least I hope it is. Which leads to "Problem 1" I have with the movie. Outside of Little Cutie Pie Kirsten Price and the always nice to look at Jessica Drake, there's way too much of the raspberry creme here. Now, there is nothing particularly unattractive with the cast outside of those 2, but none of the others would rate even a second look at my local mall, and when you rent a porno once or twice a month, that's just not good enough.

Manhunters is a tale of the trials and tribulations of 4 female bounty hunters, with Jessica Drake acting as the narrator and the heart of the team. Armstrong and his cast clearly spent some time and gave a grade AAA effort at making the life of a bounty hunter as realistic as possible given the limitations of the porn medium. However, aside from that noble effort, there is no 'movie' here, and that we'll call "Problem 2". The movie is nothing more than a series of vignettes with some pointless dialogue in between. Girl A has a scene, some talk; Bad Guy B has a scene just before the 'Gang of 4' haul him in, more talk; Girl C has a scene, more jibber jabber, followed by another scene with Bad Guy D...and so on. There is nothing here that holds the effort together between the sex scenes....this is not a problem per se...unless you promote your film as exactly that...which Manhunters clearly does.

Which takes us to the sex, (after all, this is a porn review). There is a reasonable amount of most everything here to satisfy the casual fan. Some from column A, a little from column B, and all with condoms everywhere. Actually, given what I assume to be the expected audience, the sex is a bit more raw than other recent Armstrong/Wicked flix, with a reasonable amount of anals and some nice facials, particulary from Devon Michaels, and Jessica Drake. There is your (certainly not mine, so it must be your) obligatory all-girl scene...not my cup of tea, but there are all kinds of chocolates in a box of porn.

The highlight of the movie is the Jessica Drake scene she does with Brad Armstrong, borrowing Alfred Hitchcock's tradition of appearing in his own flim..and when you're the boss of a porn set, and Jessica Drake is around...who can blame him? The aforementioned Lee Stone/Devon Michaels scene is also a winner, but looking at her surgically enhanced bazongas is a real chore. I guess the lowlight is the Jada Fire scene with 2 very unappealing others, who out of respect for their families I won't name, in a very unappealing and unsexy scene. I can't imagine any couple watching this movie would be turned on by it.

Which Leads to "Problem 3". Manhunters fails to appeal to any porn deomgraphic. Not rough enough and too much wasted time between the sex to satisfy the sickos, not plotted enough to hold the interest of those who want story with their porn, and just not fun or friendly enough for the 'I hope I can talk my wife into it' crowd.

So, the girls as a group are so-so at best, the movie is really not one, and the sex is a mix between the very good, and the very bad with a whole lot in between, When you are Wicked, and you hire Armstrong, and you promote a big budget 'couples feature' you are asking for it if you come up short, which in my opinion, they have here. There are far better ways to spend your porn budget than this, like the Wicked/Armstrong venture "But I'm With The Band".....and a lot better box of chocolates..unless you happen to like raspberry cream.

Thanks for reading...

I