Director: Mike Quasar
Videographer: Mike Quasar
Writer: Brian Cane
Running length: 1 hr 32 min.
D.O.P. 6/25 & 6/26/2001

Female cast: Chandler, Stevie, Dee, Coral Sands, Ashley
Male cast: Joel Lawrence, Mark Wood, Joey Ray

Audio/Video: As always, extremely well done. Audio was clear, with the porn music kept low and unobtrusive throughout. The video and lighting were top notch.

Extras: Interviews with Ashley, Coral and Stevie. Whoever does the interviews always asks them if they enjoy having sex. It's amazing, but they ALL say they do! What are the odds? They all want to direct, too. There were some trailers, and a 10 minute 'behind the scenes.'

The Movie:
This was the strangest porn viewing experience I've ever had.
Your mileage may vary.
Don't get me wrong, I really liked it, and there was some bangin sex. Just because it..triggered a certain reaction okay neurosis in myself, should be of no consequence to you.. and well, let's just do the review.

Sex scene 1: Joel Lawrence & Chandler no condom
This starts out nice and quiet with lowkey, sexy music in the background, as Joel goes muff diving. She then blows him for awhile before getting on his pole R/C. She's bouncing up and down, they're really getting wound up. I get distracted though, because all the dogs in my neighborhood start howling, so I turn up the TV. Immediately, a piercing high pitched sound shoots through my brain like a rifle bullet, and I drop to the floor holding my head in pain, sure I'd been hit by a stray shot. I see a long tunnel, and feel myself wanting to go towards the light. As I lay there, my eyes slowly start to focus once again, and the light was thankfully, just my tv screen. Chandler hits an octave high enough on the scale to warrant putting earmuffs on your pets. But then, if I was getting pounded like she was, I might too. This is pretty good stuff even with the sound muted, though I would miss Joel's encouraging "Come ons". I just love it when a guy makes a little noise, is right there in sync with you. Lawrence is one of the few guys in porn who not only is aware that females have orgasms too, he actually gets off on making them come. The guy's a freak! Yeehaw!!

Sex scene 2: Joel Lawrence & Dee condom
I should mention here that Chandler from the last scene was playing Joel's wife. He goes to work, and immediately starts boning his secretary, Dee. Like anyone cares.
Great blow job by Dee, who seems to know what she's doing, missionary, R/C. Dee's a real pretty, dark haired girl who has natural, bouncy tits, only one small tattoo, and no piercings!. This scene was even better, and had a surprising and welcome finish, when she ended up jacking him off completely! Lawrence actually tried grabbing his dick away from her (these guys MUST be re-trained, apparently), but she's a pro, and seemed proud of her abilities, as well she should. Let's keep seeing more of this, please!

Sex scene 3: Mark Wood & Stevie no condom
BJ, RC, doggy. Fake tits. Stevie's cute, but goddamn, she curses a lot. Not that I don't, but Jesus Christ, not that fucking much during sex. Then again, I might if I had to do that fucking Mark Wood.. Judging by his goddamn sideburns, I'd venture Arkansas, more specifically the fuckin' Ozarks, but that's neither here nor there. Stevie had no problem doing him, and she even took a fuckin facial and seemed to fuckin enjoy it, so what the hell.

Sex scene 4: Joey Ray, Ashley, & Coral Sands condom
Hmm..who's this new guy? He looks kinda familiar, but I don't think I've seen him in porn before. Finally, a new..uh..face.

The girls take turns sucking his cock on a leather sofa. Pretty soon Coral's sitting on his face while he continues to get oral attention from Ashley, the blonde. What's with all these clit and labia rings?

I get up to look for the remote and once again, I'm struck down and writhing on the floor! No, the screamer isn't back, in fact, these two are a welcome relief to my ears. My EYES are searing this time - the pain is unbearable - it has just hit me that this guy 'Joey Ray' looks exactly like my ex-husband. Christ...suppressed memory is not pleasant when it comes back like a bolt of lightning like that. I don't mean to interject my personal history or mental quirks into this, and my growing fear that this movie is out to kill me is just my paranoia, I know this. I mean, that's silly, how can a movie...why haven't I seen this guy in porn before? And why would Quasarman conspire with my ex against me? It's been over 10 years since I saw him last, would anyone in their right mind hold a grudge that long? Oh dear God...I'm going turn my player off, talk myself down, and try to finish this later.

(Later on that evening, Blondie enters the room dressed in camoflage, Kevlar vest, motorcycle helmet, and her 18 1/2" Mossberg that she keeps on a strap Rambo-style slung over her right shoulder. She sits down and gingerly picks up the remote).

Sorry about that guys, I'm okay now. Where was I? OK, Coral (fake tits, but at least they're not outsized) rides him RC. Great position, especially since you can't see him much at all, just his tallywacker. I'm starting to think that you guys who don't like seeing the male's face are on to something. At this point, he's just a dick. Some things never change.

After he's through ass-fucking Ashley (it makes sense he would go into porn, he certainly never got that off me. It was probably that, or go back to prison. IF it's him, and I'm not saying if it is or isn't, so don't even think about suing me for slander. Besides, can anyone appearing in a fuck flick sue ANYONE for slander?) he jerks himself off on Coral's titties, which Ashley licked up. You guys should love that, and he masturbated like a pro. He should go far in porn, he seems to fit right in, and he's a good looking guy, I won't deny that. Looks can be deceiving, that's all I'm saying.

A word about the plot: What plot? If we're talking about the movie, I don't have a clue about what's going on. I never let this bother me, except when it takes up too much time in between the sex scenes, but that's not the case here. For those who do care, I've noticed that there's a lot of shooting of firearms going on, and several people end up dead. Thankfully, I'm not one of them.

Sex scene 5: Stevie & Chandler no condom
These two go at it on a couch, where Stevie uses a dildo on Chandler's ass. Chandler thoroughly enjoys it, and I'm prepared for her this time. I can't say the same for the ending.

Final thoughts: Quasarman himself attempts to downplay the impact of his movie with his unique brand of hype, describing it as "a gripping tale of greed, lust, revenge and yadayadayada whatever. People had sex. People went home." Yeah, nice try, but I would have to disagree. There were more twists and turns, evil plots, deviant sex, cheating, double-crossing and semi-automatic weaponry here than even I ever witnessed during my brief marriage. But enough 'behind the scenes' - don't even get me started on the movie. You'll have to see that for yourself.

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