Cast: Jesie St. James, Shirley Woods (aka Sharon Kane), Juliet Anderson, Cris Cassidy, John Leslie, Richard Pacheco and Aaron Stuart in sex roles; Dorothy LeMay, Holly McCall, Anthony Spinelli and Carl Regal in non-sex roles.

Director: Anthony Spinelli

Production date: ?1979 in end credits; original release date of 1980 according to IAFD; DVD production date of 6/5/01 on box cover.

Length: 80 min.

Extras: Diesel's review at AdultDVDEmpire.com reports that the DVD includes a gallery of random freeze-framed stills. I am unable to view it on my copy, however. The only other "extras" are ads.

Audio/visual quality: Print quality is very rough for first few minutes. Fortunately, the worst flickering subsides before the sex begins. The presence of blemishes, artifacts and video noise is probably acceptable given the age of the movie. The camerawork and editing are quite nice?much less choppy than a few of the other classics I've seen. The emphasis falls on medium-length shots, with pleasing pans between faces and genitals. The lighting is reasonably good, but the color sometimes shifts during the sex scenes, and the outdoors (dialog) segments are often rather saturated.

The soundtrack is sufficiently pleasant, with cute and playful orchestrated themes. The music is always extremely well balanced with the sex sounds; there are no problems hearing the dirty talk even when it's whispered. The overall volume is excellent, as well.

Disc problems/false advertising: Though not technically a malfunction, there's no way to exit or skip the four minutes of compulsory advertising that precede the main menu. (The best I can do with my machine is to scan through at 8x.) The ads are cheaply done, and two of them prominently feature hard-core anal sex, which might not appeal to this movie's primary audience. The feature gallery doesn't work on my Apple DVD player (version 2.2.1), and I cannot find the behind-the-scenes photos mentioned on the box. A back cover photo of Sharon Kane is mislabeled as Dorothy LeMay.

First impression: Oh yeah, keep talking, 'cuz I'm definitely listening!

Synopsis: John Leslie ("Jack") and his mentally handicapped buddy Richard Pacheco ("Lenny") enjoy bumming at the beach. John scopes around for chicks while Richard goes gaga over the hang gliders. At the snack bar, Holly McCall ("Patty") is livid that John has dumped her. Richard catches the brunt of her fury; she shoves him violently and causes him to sprain his ankle.

John puts on his best macho swagger when the doctor, Cris Cassidy, requests her fee of $45. He has no money and instead whips out his dick for her viewing pleasure. Cris feigns disgust, but John's cock entrances her. He teases her by zipping it back in when she whispers, "Please don't." After a bit more seduction and negotiation, Cris yields to John's charms. Her blowjob is so eager that John gleefully proclaims, "You're an animal!" He nibbles at her inner thigh and then puts some real heart into the oral. The missionary sex elicits some authentic-sounding cries of ecstasy from Cris. John pulls out of her pussy to climax on her receptive tongue. The afterplay is slightly kinky?he briefly sucks her tongue while her face is still moist with cum.

Aaron Stuart ("Frank") is worried he'll miss his plane. But his mischievous wife, Jesie St. James ("Marlene"), has set the clock ahead an hour so she can initiate a proper "bon voyage." She begs him to talk dirty to her, but her favorite words intimidate him. Jesie boosts Aaron's confidence with a warm and very reassuring blowjob. She drapes her ankles over his shoulders, and he lifts her hips off the bed to pound her in missionary. Doggie is equally energetic, with Jesie squealing in delight. Aaron orgasms from the thrusts alone; his squirts sail along her butt crack.

When Richard and John spot Jesie at the beach, John confidently predicts that she'll let him fuck her in three days. He trails her to the movie theater and flirts with her as she exits. The two buddies discover that the house next to hers is vacant, and they break in to spy on her while she's undressing. The next morning, John approaches Jesie with an offer to do her yard work, which she accepts.

Realtor Juliet Anderson ("Helen") is attempting to close a deal on the vacant property with prospective buyer Carl Regal ("Robert"). For some reason, the view of her pussy fails to persuade him. John, who's quietly re-entered the house, looks on in amusement as Carl scurries away. He corners Juliet on the stairs and makes an offer of his own. Their confrontational banter reveals they're evenly matched and like-minded. They lick each others' nipples and go straight to fucking while Richard watches forlornly from above. Juliet devours John until he surrenders his cum. She tickles him with her tongue afterwards, and they both collapse into laughter.

John phones Sharon Kane ("Rose") for a date, knowing that Jesie is eavesdropping. Jesie is extremely jealous and aroused. That evening, she briefly masturbates in her shower and also at her dressing table before crying herself to sleep. Meanwhile, Sharon and Dorothy LeMay ("Jill") arrive at the vacant house. The ladies bicker and groom their pubes with a hairbrush while waiting for the guys to return with beer. When John comes back, he and Sharon sneak over to Jesie's house. They both get so horny looking at her that John pulls down Sharon's shorts and humps her doggie-style just outside Jesie's bedroom door. Their frantic dirty talk is all the more intense because it's whispered. John claps his hand over Sharon's mouth when she climaxes. He bites his own hand, as well, to suppress his grunts while he's coming on her ass.

Jesie wakes up in a foul mood the next morning, but John seduces her via the "13 places a man should kiss when he makes love to a woman." They tease each other with racy language and roughhouse passionately in her bed. John dives into the oral with boyish enthusiasm and then happily fucks her mouth when she requests it. John makes Jesie scream with pleasure by pumping her hard and fast in missionary. He slides his cock along the crease between her abdomen and thigh as he creams. This entire scene is intercut with footage of Richard losing his virginity to Sharon. Some viewers dislike intercut footage, but in this case, the contrast between John and Richard's experiences is essential to the story. Sharon first coaxes Richard to explore her pussy with his tongue and then caresses his cock in her mouth. He enters her shyly in missionary, constantly kissing her while he finds his rhythm. There's no cumshot, yet Richard's orgasm is surprisingly convincing. The eroticism lies in their realistic facial expressions and his tender query, "Did that make you happy?"

Thumbs up: The plot is extremely well done for porn?there's not too much and not too little. Thought and effort has been put into the character development, yet the sex doesn't feel shortchanged. The dirty talk is lightly risqu?, not degrading.

The casting is also flawless. John Leslie is perfect as an oversexed scoundrel. Richard Pacheco is perfect as his sweet but slow-witted friend. Jesie St. James is perfect as a young and somewhat frustrated wife. And so on. No one seems out of place, and the lead performers in particular put a lot of practice and polish into their lines. At one point, John does a hilarious impression of Jimmy Stewart that cracks me up.

Thumbs down: The packaging is so bad that I almost subtracted a half star from the rating. The lack of extras is really inexcusable. A classic like this begs for a commentary, and performer biographies would have been most helpful for younger viewers like me. The reason I haven't deducted any points is that this DVD is bargain priced, retailing for under $10 at several AdultDVDTalk affiliates.

I don't really consider this as a "thumbs down," but I feel obligated to note that the physical attractiveness of performers in older films is different from what's expected nowadays. The women's pubic hair is unshaven, and there's much less emphasis on achieving a glamorous look. Personally, I'm rather fond of natural, ordinary-looking folks. I'm happy that Jesie St. James is slightly pear-shaped. I do think she's prettier than the unflattering cover photo might suggest.

Themes: Straight, oral, vaginal, masturbation, dirty talk, exhibitionism, voyeurism, facials.

Condom use: None.

Juice-o-meter: Medium high. As is typical for Golden Age (1972?1984) films, the sex scenes contain just one or two positions and are rather brief by today's standards. They are substantial enough to hold my interest, however.

Final analysis: Talk Dirty to Me deserves its reputation as one of the great erotic classics of all time. Despite the lack of extras, I highly recommend this DVD to anyone who's looking for couples-friendly sex with a sweet, engaging story.

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